Now's The Time

Keys to Success

2010-04-14T14:31:00.002-04:00

I recently read somewhere that success is a personal thing. I totally agree with that statement. Success, afterall, is how you define the word for yourself. Success for one person might mean earning a huge income. Success for someone else might be finding a path in life that they are passionate about. Nonetheless, successful people seem to share common traits.

I firmly believe whether you are a working women, a full-time mother or a blend of the two...being successful in life requires these traits:

The 12 traits/steps to Success:

1. Believe in yourself
2. Own your words...if you say it, mean it.
3. Maintain a positive attitude.
4. Have a dream.
5. Do one thing towards your dream consistently.
6. See problems as opportunities.
7. Never give up
8. Thoughts drive our actions which lead to our results.
9. Be prepared; mentally, physically, spiritually
10. Do unto others as you want done unto you
11. Take risks, learn to fail, get up
12. Give more than you take.

Questions? Listen and the answers will come

2010-03-09T10:52:00.004-05:00

As a life coach and entrepreneur, I always have my ears open to hearing what women's biggest challenges are. And, for some reason, I have found that when I have a question that I don't have an answer for, I stay with the question. By staying with the question I mean that I keep that question in my head. It always seems that the answers begin to show up all around me and various times. And, when I take the time to notice and gather the answers...the question seems to be answered.

My latest question that I have been sitting with is, "Are women looking for more direction in their lives? Is that what I can really help them with?" Today, as I was at my gym for my workout, a women approached me and asked if I had some hair styling product. As I reached into my bag for it, she made a comment that it was one thing to go to work with wet hair, another to go with it unstyled. This lead to me asking her what she did. As we spoke briefly, she commented that someone had just said to her last night, "Why do you stay at this job?" She let me know that she felt stuck. That while the job was unfulfilling in many ways, it had it's perks; flexibility, part-time, etc. Yet, she said, the fear of not knowing what else she would do, keeps her there. As she walked away, she said, I'll be calling you...I need to find some direction and get unstuck!

Only moments later, as I walked through the locker room, I overheard a conversation. One women was expressing her frustration that she didn't know where she belonged and was searching for "What she would be when she grew up." I turned and thought...wow, that's exactly what I do. As she disappeared into the gym, I was again reminded of my own question. "Are women looking for direction?"

I remember going through my own searching for what I'd be when I grew up. I recalled staying with that question..and I found life coaching and my calling and passion. Again, I'm reminded that when we stay with the questions the answers will show themselves.

Today I am inspired to stand up and say that I am a life coach that helps women find a compelling direction, balance and focus in their lives. I help women set sail towards their clear vision of what they want!

Have a burning question? Relax and listen...the answers will show themselves. Trust it.

Motherhood

2010-03-06T11:24:00.005-05:00

I am at awe of people who can put thoughts and feelings into words, poetry, or song so eloquently. A friend sent me this link to a utube video. Without telling you what the video is about, I'll just say that it puts into words exactly how I feel about being a Mom...and having kids growing up and out of the "nest."

Please take the time to click the link and watch it. It speaks to the journey of motherhood...it's a powerful reminder of how important our work as Mothers is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olSyCLJU3O0

The Dash - Make it Meaningful

2010-03-03T08:10:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I find that it hard to put into words how I am feeling or thinking. That's when I have to default to others. I love this short movie and it's message. Take a minute to watch it.

http://thedashmovie.com

I strive to make my dash as meaningful and productive as I can. Being the best person I can be and living my life to the fullest.

Champion Mindset

2010-01-11T12:59:00.005-05:00

I speak regularly to groups of high school baseball and softball players. I address things like the importance of goal setting, confidence, letting go of errors, emotional control and focus.

This week, we talked about having a mental game plan. Being prepared mentally to handle what might come up in a game. As I wrote out ten steps to the Champion's Mindset...I realized it was a good blog topic. Not only can we adhere to these ten steps on the playing field, but we can also apply them to our lives.

Here's the Ten Steps to a Champion's Mindset Game Plan. Apply these to YOUR life and sport!

1. Perform/Live in the NOW. The NOW is the only "time zone" you have control over. Stay in the now by focusing on the task at hand.
2. If you find yourself stuck in the past or worrying about the future, then recognize that you've left the NOW and gently bring yourself back to it. Getting distracted and leaving the now is not a problem as long as you can bring yourself back quickly.
3. Keep track of your UCs (UnControllables): If you realize you are distracted by or focused on things that you have no control over, go back to #2. Recognize you are focused on it and then bring yourself back. Uncontrollables are things like the weather, your opponents, the fans, a bad call by the ump. Things you can not control!
4. Use focal points or cue words: A focal point is something you lock your attention on to help focus. For pitchers it could be the catcher's mitt. In life, it could be your breathing. Breathing also helps you stay in the now!
5. Stay Calm: In sports and life, you can not play or live your best when you are anxious, uptight or wound up. You'll perform your best when you are physically and mentally relaxed. Learn relaxation techniques to help you. My goal for any performance is to be "Ready, Relaxed and Confident"
6. Trust yourself; let it happen. When you try too hard your muscles will tighten and you will be counter-productive. Trust your training, trust yourself and let the performance happen. When you try harder you work outside of yourself...trusting yourself allows you to work within yourself.
7. Leave your mistakes in the past: Have a routine that allows you to "let it go." If you carry your error or mistake into your next play, chances are your next play will not be your best. By developing a mistake routine you can simply let go and refocus. The routine can include things like positive self-talk, "relax, let it go", remind yourself to focus on the task at hand. Or use your breathing...with your exhale, let it go and with a fresh inhale, refocus.
8. Use your negative self-talk as a reminder.
Negative chatter can often creep into our minds. However, you don't have to choose to listen to it. Pretend the negatives chatter is in a foreign language. You don't understand the content...but you can hear the foreign language. Use it as a cue to refocus.
9. Keep your goals close at hand. Write your goals down and keep them with you. After a game or while in the dugout or while having a cup of tea, review your plan to check which goals you have accomplished and which ones need more work.
10. Always have a contingency plan. If what you may plan for today does not work out, have a contingency plan for what you can do.

Going Backwards to Move Forward?

2009-11-12T14:53:00.003-05:00

I was just working with a client who told me she was leaving for a trip to India on December 26th, the day after Christmas. As she told me this, I was thinking, "wow, what a tough time to leave for a long trip to a far away land." She continued to tell me her reasons for going and how the trip came about. It all made sense...but I continued to wonder how she'd manage it all.

As we talked, she realized she had many thoughts and ideas whirling in her head about how she would manage it all. We often make our lists of all the things that need to happen in our heads. And, what happens? We begin to feel overwhelmed. The picture we create in our heads is of a list a mile long.

The first thing we did was to look ahead to the day she was leaving. How did she want to feel? She wanted to feel that everything was in order with work and her family so she could leave and not feel worried.

The key for my client was to work backwards from the outcome. Next step was to stop, remove the list from her head and write it down. It helps clearly map out the tasks that need to be addressed. Writing it down serves three purposes. First, it allows us to see what needs to happen. Next, it allows us to organize the list into categories, or blocks. And finally, we're able put into action, each day, small pieces to accomplish the final goal.

As she did this exercise, she laughed and said, I'm going to write on an index card the things I need to do each day. A GREAT idea. An index card does not allow for lots of writing. It's big enough for only 6-7 tasks. And six tasks is plenty to accomplish each day towards that final outcome of leaving for a trip and feeling no worries.

The other beauty of an index card? You can throw it away when you've crossed the tasks off the list.

Next time you're planning something big or working towards a goal. Take the time to work backwards, write down everything then chunk it down and use an index card to celebrate each day's accomplishments.

Learning from the World Champions: Staying Composed

2009-11-07T15:39:00.003-05:00

I watched with awe the six games of the World Series. I was in awe of the players’ focus and composure during a long stretch of intense games. Not only did the Yankees and Phillies endure a long, hard, season, they endured six very exciting championship games. The ability of players like Alex Rodriquez, Derek Jeter, Johnny Damon, and Mariano Rivera to keep their composure during these key games displays the mark of true champions.

I often witness young softball or baseball players, especially in high stakes games, get upset or angry after they miss a play, strike-out, or there is a bad call. Championship games often cause young athletes to expect perfection. The pressure, a perfectionist’s attitude, and a player’s own high expectations can cause the players to play too tense and thus cause emotional upset when things aren’t going well.

The World Series proved a great testing ground for both the Yankees and the Phillies’ composure. The stakes are high, the want for the seasons’ hard work to pay off is great, and the duration of the intense games was drawn out. However,
when looking at the player’s faces while they were at bat, the same composed face appeared with each and every at bat. As Rodriquez was quoted as saying, “The goal was to come in and simplify things this year, and I've done that. I think it's a formula that worked this year, and it will work in the future. Winning is the only goal, and I've never experienced such an amazing feeling."

In baseball and in life, composure is an important skill. One the champion athletes have learned to master and one that we can bring to our own lives.
Just as ARod points out in the game of baseball, simplify things. In life we’re often faced with our own “world series”…having to stay composed while trying to reason with a two year old, staying composed before giving a speech, staying composed while going for an important interview or staying composed in a fast paced society. Simplifying allows us to stay focused, relaxed and in the moment.

Here are five ingredients to staying composed under pressure:

1. Keep it simple. Be aware of the pressure you put on yourself. Let go of perfection. Stay focused on what you need to do in the moment to do your best.
2. Prepare for each game/situation the same way each time. Routine preparation helps build confidence and allows us to stay focused. Again, keep it simple.
3. Don’t compare yourself or your team to the opponents. Size, numbers, nicer uniforms, etc. have nothing to do with how YOU perform. Stay focused on your preparation and your game.
4. Anticipate the challenges that you might face and have a plan to prepare yourself for them. Any game or situation will have challenges. Be prepared with a plan.
5. Butterflies and pregame jitters are normal. It’s your body’s way of saying you are ready. Take time before the game to gather the energy of the butterflies and guide them to fly in formation.

A Meaningful Poem

2009-09-11T09:53:00.002-04:00

A friend recently sent me one of those forwarded emails. This quote was part of the email. It's an important philosophy that we all can adapt.

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Love the ones who don't just because you can.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Kiss slowly.
Forgive quickly.
God never said life would be easy.
He just promised it would be worth it."

What is fear?

2009-07-24T11:48:00.005-04:00

Fear comes up when we want to make changes. Why is that? What is fear?
Fear starts in your mind. Fear is a reaction to what you are thinking within your own mind. Fear is not outside of ourselves. Fear resides within us.

When you sense fear, your body must be alerted to it by your mind. So, to understand that fear begins in your mind is the first step to overcoming it.

As I have said before on this blog; our thoughts drive our actions. Therefore, fearful thoughts evoke fearful physical actions. Like tension, sweaty hands, nervous stomach, weak knees, the want to retreat. Along with these outer bodily actions our stress hormones are activated along with our fight or flight response.

Everyone has fears. I had a tremendous fear of water. What's important is not that you have fears, but how you handle them. Think of any champion athlete who competes in a tough sport like kayaking class 5 rapids in the Colorado River. Champions learn to master their fears well enough to get the job done. Champions don't let fear stand in their way!

As I mentioned earlier, I had a phobia of water. My fear was huge. How did I learn to overcome my fear? Here are 10 steps to master your fear.

1. Remember fear is in the mind. Recognize this. Awareness is the first step.
2. Fear is another way of saying, "I can't handle it." Ask yourself what you can't handle? My answer was, "I can't handle the thought that if I get tired while swimming, I'll be exhausted, noone will see me, and I'll drown." Dig into exactly what you are fearing will happen or won't happen.
3. Take small steps towards building your strength. For me it was learning to swim. I joined a swim group twice a week, in the safety of a pool, to increase the distance I could swim. Take small, safe steps. Fear can stop us dead in our tracks if we allow it to. Taking any action towards it...quiets it.
4. Get support. My fear was of open water. I got support by asking a friend who was a very strong swimmer to accompany me in a practice open water swim. He stayed right next to me while we swam in a lake together.
5. To control your fear try singing! Yes, sing to yourself. It helps to control your breathing and calms you down. It's a great distraction from your mind.
6. Stay in the NOW. Focus on what you need to do in the moment...right now. It will inch you forward towards overcoming the fear. When I swam my first open water race...I just focused on my stroke. I did not focus on the water, my thoughts, or anything other than putting my arms into the water and stroking.
7. Think positive. Review the steps you have taken and see your progress. Create positive affirmations you can repeat to yourself over and over.
8. Embrace fear. Recognize it. Without the experience of moving past fear, there is no growth. You can't be successful if your not moving forward.
9. Remember the Wizard in the "Wizard of Oz?" He said, "Pay no attention to the mad behind the curtain." Pay no attention to what you create in your mind!
10. JUST DO IT! The fear you feel is nothing compared to the growth, excitment and success you will feel in overcoming the fear. So, go for it!

Small Changes...BIG RESULTS

2009-06-29T19:38:00.003-04:00

It is so easy to get caught up in the daily demands of a busy household. Laundry, meals, driving to and from activities, meal planning and preparation...you get the idea, the list can go on and on. As a step-mother and mother of five, I felt lost in motherhood. I felt like I had lost my first name. I was always referred to as someone's mother, wife or daughter. Taking time to do something positive for myself felt selfish. I was always pushing my needs off to give to my family.

I learned the hard way, but I learned. I learned that taking time for myself, fulfilling my needs and doing things I enjoyed made me a better person and mother. One important lesson I have learned is that there is no Someday in the week. There is only Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, etc. If there is something important to me, I no longer put it off. Like the name of my business and my philosophy...Now's the time. Because there is no better time than now.

I say all this to encourage you to take care of yourself, to take time to do things you love. If you aren't sure what you would do...take the time to discover your passions. Taking time doesn't mean you have to "abandon ship". It can mean making small changes. Small changes like putting the things on your "someday list" on your "Today" list. This is one small change that can lead to BIG results.

Smile and Move

2009-05-11T14:37:00.002-04:00

This short video is great. It speaks to my feeling of making every moment count, to live life to the fullest. To make NOW the time to get moving.

Enjoy!

Limiting Beliefs

2009-04-29T14:54:00.003-04:00

We all have them. Beliefs we hold about ourselves. Some of them are what we call, Limiting Beliefs. We label them limiting because these beliefs limit what we think or believe we can do. For example, I enjoy training for sprint triathlons. Until recently I always thought of myself as a 3-4 mile runner. I never really ran more than four miles at a time. This belief about myself limited me from seeing myself as a person who could run say 8 miles. Believing that I could not run more than 4 miles and that I was a "4 mile" runner...did not allow me to be an "8 mile" runner.

So, how do you stop a limiting belief? The first step is simply awareness. Limiting beliefs can become part of our unconscious belief system...and we simply just go with it. Becoming aware that a belief is limiting you...is key. Bring it out into the open. With awareness comes possibilities, new understanding and new choices.

Take a look at your beliefs about yourself. What's possible if you were to break them open? What's possible if you didn't buy into it? How might you change your limiting belief into a more empowering belief?

Today, I ran 9.5 miles. I no longer see myself as a "3 miler". I've broke open that limiting belief and now imagine what's possible. Perhaps a marathon one day. (Something I never would have even thought about being that "3 miler".) What's possible for you?

From a Worm to a Butterfly

2009-04-23T10:03:00.003-04:00

The steps a caterpillar takes in becoming a beautiful, colorful butterfly is a great metaphor. I often speak with my clients about the comfort of their "cocoon" and how the cocoon represents our habits, routines...what we know...whether it's working or not...it's comfortable and safe.

To EMERGE as a butterfly...leaving the warmth and safety of the cocoon, requires six steps.

1. Determination: How hungry for success or change are you? Your want or hunger will fuel your motivation to see the results or changes you want. How big is YOUR want?

2. Inspiration: Why do you want what you want? What is inspiring your to see the growth you desire? Where will you get inspiration from?

3. Vision: What is your vision for yourself? What are you trying to accomplish? How will life look different after you have emerged from that cocoon? (Flying like a butterfly instead of laying in a cocoon!)

4. Initiative: You must take action to make it happen. Ask for help, do research or just take small steps forward. Chew a little, rest, chew a little more, rest. Just start nibbling.

5. Network: Create strategic partners, create a support system - ask for assistance. Who can support you in making the changes and taking the small steps? How will you create the support?

6. Believe: Rid yourself of negative and limiting beliefs. Believe in yourself. You are no longer a worm, you are a beautiful butterfly. How will you accept this new belief? Write an affirmation for yourself and post it somewhere you see it everyday and repeat it to yourself constantly.

What's ready to EMERGE in you? What's keeping you in the comfort of the cocoon?
Imagine the possibilities living life as a butterfly...free to fly above the trees, take nectar and pollen from flowers...spreading your beauty throughout the land.

Top 10 Ingredients to a Successful Visualization

2009-04-09T19:54:00.004-04:00

Anticipating an event, competition, or a stressful situation can cause people to feel anxious, uncertain or even fearful. Anticipating the start of race, giving a presentation or giving birth (flying in a plane) can all elicit anxious feelings. When we focus on our “what ifs” that can run through our minds the anxious feelings only increase. The “what ifs” also play out in our minds in not only words, but in pictures as well. Our “what ifs” are the movie we’re living. What you see is what you believe.

Many of our challenges in life, sports and in business can be handled by changing our “what ifs”. How many times have you imagined an outcome to a life event that you were certain would not be favorable? The event probably went just as you imagined, right?

Champions in life, sports and in business use visualization strategies to overcome feelings of anxiety, perform at their best and to increase their energy and enjoyment. Every visualization has 10 important ingredients.

1.Begin by relaxing.
A relaxed mind equals a relaxed body.
Quiet your body and your mind. Relax your breathing.
2.It must be real, right now, in the present moment.
3.Use all of your senses.
Actively engage what it feels, tastes, smells, sounds, and looks like to perform exactly as you would like to.
4.Use repetition and small doses.
Practice your visualization in small doses. Start out with 5 minutes. Stop. Then do it again for just 5 minutes. Try to increase your time to a maximum of 20 minutes, two to three times a day.
5.Use different perspectives.
Imagine seeing yourself perform through the lens of a camera. Try the zoom lens and the wide lens. See yourself from the front, the back, and the side. See it from your mind’s eye and as an observer.
6.Utilize your emotions
Feel your excitement, your pride, as you visualize your performance.
7.It’s time to be perfect
The best time to be a perfectionist is in your visualization. See yourself performing perfectly.
8.Use past successes to fuel and energize you.
Recall past successes. Recall the emotions, your senses to energize and build your confidence.
9.Incorporate affirmations
Utilize positive self-talk. Repeat affirmations to yourself.
10.Practice, practice, practice.
Like any skill the more you practice, the better you become.

Be a Victor, Not a Victim

2009-03-23T14:55:00.003-04:00

It's so easy to get into the mindset of being a victim. Easy to ask yourself why this or that happened to you? To feel like the sky is falling. To get so easily caught up in your own negative dialog. Feeling like a victim.

Feeling like a victor requires a perspective change. A victor sees challenges as opportunities. Opportunities to grow, learn, and expand. Overcome...be victorious!

However, when life feels like you are constantly on the receiving end of the "short end of the straw," it's hard to not feel like a victim.

So how might you move from feeling like a victim to a victor?
Here's some ideas:

1. Are you grateful? Check your pulse.
Find 3 things each day that you are grateful for. It can be as simple as your own pulse. Because having a pulse means you have been blessed being here. I'm sure there are others out there that would love to have a pulse...for one more day...but they don't.

2. Go out and do something nice for someone else.
Doing for others helps plant seeds for happiness. It also gets you out of your own rut.

3. Know that being a victim is an option.
You don't have to buy into the feeling of being a victim. You have a choice. Start one small action towards overcoming your situation. One small step.

4. See the challenge as an opportunity to overcome and be victorious.
Close your eyes and visualize yourself overcoming the obstacles. See how you will feel when your are standing, arms raised in victory. See how your life will be different, feel your strength.

5. Get support.
Sometimes a little support and guidance in seeing challenges as opportunities is needed. Research, ask friends, hire a coach.

Preparing and Planning

2009-03-02T10:39:00.003-05:00

Last night I gave a talk to a group of high school baseball players on the benefits of mentally preparing for both practice and games. Mental preparation for sports is a great parallel to life. Just as in sports it's important to prepare mentally for your day.

Mental preparation includes imagery, positive self talk, relaxation or arousal techniques. In athletics, these ingredients prepare the athlete for performance in allowing them to rehearse how they want their performance to go, stay relaxed and prepare a strategy. Having the mind rehearse the performance builds inner confidence, positive thoughts and thus a better performance.

In life use this principal to prepare for your day. Take the time each morning to lay out your day. See yourself handling a busy day with calmness, stay positive and work your plan. Visualize yourself handling the unexpected things with calmness and clarity. While you can't predict what exactly will happen in a day, you do have choices about how you react.

Your thoughts are in your control. Your thoughts direct your focus, confidence and performance. Think positively, direct your focus, plan your day, then confidently perform your best.

Happiness

2009-02-15T08:59:00.003-05:00

Random thoughts, findings, and quotes about happiness:

*Happiness is not something that comes to you
*It's something you create, now, today.
*Waiting for something to change in order to be happy is waiting to live your life.
*It's not what happens that counts-it's how you react to what happens.
*Finding happiness is like finding yourself
*You can't find happiness - you make happiness.
*Do what brings YOU the most meaning and contentment in your life
*Know what you want. Not knowing what you want can be confusing and frustrating.
*Break-out of routine; routines can be an obstacle. Breaking out will allow you to see things differently.
*Know your personal values; and live by them.
*share your happiness. Make others happy and you become happy as a result
*The cause of unhappiness is attachment.
*"Attachment is an emotional state of clinging caused by the belief that without some particular thing you can not be happy. Again and again we need to let go." -Anthony de Mello
*We tend to look outside ourselves for happiness. (the right car, house, job, spouse, friends)
*Seek happiness from within; not outside. Happiness is a state of mind; a state of being. Not doing or having.
*"Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly may alight upon you." - Nathanial Hawthorne

Move Toward the ROAR!!

2009-02-11T11:35:00.004-05:00

I recently heard a story about how lions hunt that is a great metaphor for life. The story goes like this: In Africa older male lions will line themselves up so that they are standing along side Gazelles. The younger male lions will place themselves in the opposite direction. When the older male lions give a loud, "ROAR", the gazelles turn and run the other way; right towards the younger male lions who will chase them down and kill them.
The interesting thing about this story, is that if the gazelles ran toward the ROAR, they probably would be safe. The older male lions could not chase them!

In life, when we embark on making changes in our lives. Our fears and our own voices get louder trying to have us stay where we are. Our loud voices and fears cause us to run the other direction. However, when we move towards the ROAR...we quiet the voices and move in the direction we really want to move in.

Move towards the ROAR! The pay-off is much bigger than the ROAR itself.

The Magic of Thinking BIG

2009-02-05T12:50:00.002-05:00

I've been having a great time hosting DreamBoard Nights. I think it's important to have a vision for ourselves. And, I like to challenge others to THINK BIG! Create a BIG vision for yourself. The real challenge is letting go of the "how tos" and the "I can'ts" and just let your imagination fly. Create the ideal life. Afterall, anyone can think small; most people do. Most people see themselves in the same place in life, doing or not doing the same things all because of limited beliefs or conditioned thinking.

Don't think about what is possible, think about what might seem nearly impossible, that would require you to grow, move, and shift beyond who you currently are. Think about what you have always wanted to do or have in your life!

"If you can dream it, you can achieve it." - Walt Disney

Thinking big equals going big. Thinking small means staying small. We all have the choice of how we think. I believe we have one shot at this life, so why not make it great? Make your life something that you are proud of.

Thinking big...or creating a DreamBoard does not mean "pie in the sky"...like suddenly having all you want or doing unbelievable acts. It simply means stretching yourself to grow into a bigger picture. Believing that you are capable of being all that you are.

DreamBoards and Thinking BIG...are a way to stretch yourself, your mind and your beliefs to grow into something you already are...but are afraid of.

So, why think small when you can think big? Thinking big opens all kinds of new, endless possibilities.

Endless Possibilities

2009-01-28T14:58:00.003-05:00

A friend sent me a card a while back. Inside she wrote that she hoped that perhaps the passage would help others find their quest in life as I have. With that hope, I share that passage with you hoping that you too find your quest!

"Today your life holds for you endless possibilities. You have built a solid foundation, and you have worked hard for it. Continue to do what is necessary to move forward one day at a time. Write down your dream and tuck it away - entrusting that all things will come at the right time. Keep sight always of what is important in life. Remember that true happiness and purpose will be found in relationships - in the workplace and at home. Live each day open to guidance, and your purpose will be revealed to you. May your future be filled with love and acceptance."

Write down your dream...tuck it away..or not...and watch for the opportunities that arise.

72 Hours

2009-01-20T10:55:00.003-05:00

Did you know that when you have an idea or thought...you must act on it within 72 hours, otherwise the thought or idea just remains just that...a fleeting thought or idea. If you take action within 72 hours of the thought or idea, then the thought or idea becomes an action step...it becomes more solid and real!

I led a workshop on Friday night. One of the women said, "I'm afraid I'll wake up tomorrow morning and all the thoughts and ideas that we're discussing right now will
leave me." She knew in order to make the changes she wanted to she needed to act.

Many times we have thoughts or ideas that we don't act on. How powerful is it when we take action? When we take action we're moving forward...often proving to ourselves that whatever had held us back in the past was only our thoughts about how big, long, or boring a certain task might be. Taking action, one small step, frees you to see what's possible.

Taking the first step is often the hardest. That's why 72 hours is the key. Push yourself to take action within 72 hours and your world will open up. One of the biggest benefits of working with a coach like myself is the accountability. If you knew someone would call you within 72 hours to see how you are doing and if you have done what you said, it's a great motivator. Just knowing someone else knows what you must do is helpful.

72 hours...or less...is all it takes to get moving. What will you do in the next
72 hours that will move you from your comfort zone to your growth zone?

Happy New Year!!

2009-01-06T10:26:00.002-05:00

It's interesting to me as I bump into people or overhear conversations about the holiday break, the New Year and the feeling of new starts. I sense a feeling of renewal, of reflection, of hope and a yearning for change. It sounds like people enjoyed a slower pace during the holiday break as well as a break from the daily routines.

I enjoyed a very relaxing time away with my family in Vermont. I too, broke away from my daily routines and pace of life. The break allowed me to really remove myself from my routines. Now, I find getting back into my usual routines a chance to see them differently, to make subtle changes, to appreciate and embrace all that surrounds me. I find myself re-evaluating my life and making new goals, letting go of old ones and feeling refreshed and renewed with a new plan for my life.

Yesterday while at my gym a woman said to me, "You must be busy this time of year!?" She was referring to all the New Year's Resolutions that people make. She then said,"I should talk to you about my resolutions." She commented on seeing a group of women out running together that morning. She laughed as she also commented on wondering how long that resolution would last.

Resolutions do serve a purpose. They do get us thinking about making positive changes. But, resolutions, for most of us don't last. Why? Because resolutions are often too big. "This year I'm going to..." Well, after 6 weeks the idea is a faded memory, or you get bored, etc, etc. Resolutions also have no plan. How will you achieve it?

Instead of resolutions, set goals. Make them realistic. Break the goals down into monthly, weekly and daily goals. The small pieces help to create your plan. As the woman in the gym said to me, "You must be busy." Yes, busy in helping people get clear about what they want in their life, helping them to set realistic goals and developing the plan to achieve them. Nothing is more satisfying to me than seeing my clients make the changes in their lives, achieve what they want and have a smile on their faces.

New Life

2008-12-11T11:08:00.003-05:00

An amazing thing happened to me on Tuesday. I became a grandmother!!
My daughter/step-daughter, gave birth to her first child, Dean.

The miracle of life! The miracle of labor, of the human body, of the immediate bond between Mom, Dad and child. The joy, the newness, the awe of it all. There's nothing like the birth of a child.

At a recent conference I attended in Montreal, we were treated to a Native American blessing. A song writer had put it to music and had the huge room of 2,000 people sing it in a round. The words and music brought tears to my eyes. It was a blessing I knew I'd want to bestow on Dean.

Here are the words:

When you were born you cried
And the world rejoiced
Live your life so that when you die
The world cries and you rejoice!

I truly believe that each of us have been put on this earth for a reason. We've all
been given great gifts. It's up to us to use them. Are you living your life so that when you die the world cries and you rejoice?

It's never too late to live your life differently, more fully and with meaning.
As I watched my daughter and son in law become parents...I saw them see new meaning for their lives. Our children stand for us to live our life so that when we die they cry and we rejoice.

Why Would You Need a Coach?

2008-11-20T13:25:00.004-05:00

I often hear the comment, you need a life coach, in a way that indicates "you have a problem." I find myself saying, I'm not a therapist, I'm not here to solve your problem. In order to make more clear just why someone would WANT or NEED a coach I'd like to address that very question. "Why would you want or need a coach?"

Many people are self-directed and self-managaing. They take intuitive, they know what they want and they have strategies and discipline to go after it. Yet, these very people are often the first to line up for a coach. They know that a coach can see things that they can not. Every great baseball coach has other coaches on his staff...because he can't see everything. We as individuals can't see past our own beliefs and assumptions. Thus, a second pair of eyes is better than one!

For the people that are not self-directed and self-managing coaching is a powerful resource. Coaching allows the individual to get clear as to where they are in life (like it or not), where they want to be (or perhaps figure out where they want to be) and then create a plan to get there. Coaching for these people offers guidance, support and accountability. Accountability is sometimes the biggest benefit. Where else in your life do you have someone holding you to what you say you want? Figuring out who you are and where you want to be is an empowering experience. One that a life coach will enable you to discover.

A third party that benefits from life coaching is the person that feels run by life. Coaching helps individuals learning to take back their life and be the driver instead of the passenger! Discovering our strengths, changing perspectives and realizing we can create what we want is the power of coaching.

I'm sure anyone who reads this would relate to some part of the descriptions above. Coaching is not about me having the right answers...rather it's about me asking you the right questions.

As a coaching friend of mine says, "Therapists use couches...coaches use stairs."

Coaching is about moving forward and creating.

Hope this helps.

Life Balance

2008-11-17T16:04:00.003-05:00

I'm often asked to speak about life balance. With the holidays around the corner, balancing life with all the other demands is challenging. Our to-do lists grow longer and our stress levels increase. Leaving us with little time or energy. With all the focus on our "to-do" lists we become out of balance with our "doing selves" and our "being selves".

As one of my clients recently told me,"When the "doing" takes over, it feels like being in a tunnel and all the stuff we have to do has a frantic quality to it. The stuff makes me feel trapped in the tunnel with the frantic feeling of trying to get out."

In addition, when we're over focused on what we need to do, we forget about how we want to be. Most of us don't want to be stressed, frantic, or overwhelmed. We want to be relaxed, present, and calm.

In order to find balance during the holiday season, therefore, think about how you want to be. How do you want to be, for example, on Christmas day? Do you want to be calm, relaxed, excited, playful??

Create your TO BE list. Then, create your to-do list. What do you need to do to be?

Balance the doing with your being.

Remember, too, that it's not what we do that creates memories, it's how we are. How do you want to remember this holiday season? Be present in the moment. BE calm, relaxed and available.

Words and Their Power

2008-11-01T07:14:00.002-04:00

Words

DID is a word of ACHIEVEMENT
WON'T is a word of REBELLION
MIGHT is a word of MEDIOCRITY
CAN'T is a word of DEFEAT & FEAR
SHOULD is a word of DUTY
COULD is a word of POSSIBILITIES
WANT TO are words of CHOICE
TRY is a word of LITTLE FAITH
MAYBE is a word of PROCRASTINATION
WILL is a word of COURAGE
CAN is a word of POWER & SELF-DETERMINATION
DOING is a word of PROGRESS & FULFILLMENT
DONE is a word of SUCCESS.

What words do you use in your "self-talk?"
Do they empower you?

The Sky is Falling vs. Abundance

2008-10-20T15:24:00.004-04:00

These days I find myself struggling between the negativity of the economic news and the pessimistic outlook we are bombarded with and trying to stay positive and optimistic.

Part of me feels if I try to remain optimistic, I can begin to question myself; am I just trying to ignore the realities of the economic situation? Or is the core of me just optimistic and always looking for the lessons learned and the positive possibilities. It's easy to feel the worry, the burden, and the uncertainty that looms over everyone as I go out about my day. The jobs losses, foreclosures, and lost stock revenues are very real. Yet, as easy as it seems to get caught up in the "sky is falling" feeling, I also realize it's a perspective. If I choose to stand and believe the sky is falling, I'll take actions in line with that feeling or outlook. To imagine a world or country where we all believe the sky is falling is not a perspective that is helpful or healing.

I have noticed that when I look at the economy and perhaps the message it is sending, I see a real opportunity to take responsibility to take a conscious look at what is happening. It's an opportunity to live life differently. For me, it's perhaps a way to live with less, to appreciate more, to spend time home instead of out spending time away. It's an awesome opportunity to live more simply and to slow down. It shifts me from the perspective of not enough and doom and gloom to abundance and appreciation.

In all challenges lie opportunities.

There's Enough

2008-10-06T14:13:00.003-04:00

My good friend gave me a small desk calendar last Christmas that is filled with "The Law Of Attraction" quips and quotes. As I sat here at my desk removing the past days, I re-read each page. This one stuck out. It stuck out because as each client arrived today they seemed filled with uncertainty and fear due to the economic headline news.

The quote, "To think there is not enough is to look at the outside pictures and think that everything comes from the outside. When you do that, you will most surely see lack and limitation. You now know that nothing comes into existence from the outside, and that everything first comes from thinking and feeling it on the inside. Your mind is the creative power of all things."

As I read that today, I realized how often we feel the outside influences on our lives. I also thought about how, when we feel the outside pressures, the economy, the fear...it can cause us to shift our view of the world and ourselves into feeling the limitations and lack. We begin to imagine what life might be like if we lack money. Or how our life might be limited. Less freedoms, less driving, less travel, less opportunities...This perspective of lack and limitations, when looking from the inside out, is rather bleak and halting. This perspective is not open to choice either.

As the quote reminds us, our minds are the creative power of all things. Our minds perspective. We have choices in which we view things. Take this opportunity to take stock of all the abundance that is in your life.

Although the economic outlook right now is shifting, so may we. It's a great time to shift gears and be thankful for all we do have. It's also a great time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. It's also a great time to realize how we might need to limit ourselves..perhaps forcing us to be more conscious in our choices.

Live in the perspective that there is enough. Perhaps just changing what we think we need enough of. Enough Love? Enough Money? Enough time? Enough friends? Enough clothes? Enough cars? Enough gas? Enough food?

What do you have enough of?

Get Into Action

2008-09-30T10:21:00.002-04:00

Did you ever notice that when you are about to try something new, or take on a new challenge, or simply anticipating something that you are more nervous before the event then after it starts? When we try something new it challenges our mind and body. When we get into action, it releases our "feel good" hormones. Once we're in action it makes us feel better and the ambivalence we initially encountered decreases.

Clients often come to me because they know they want something, but just can't find the momentum to get started. Weight loss, new fitness routine, or taking the time to discover what is next for them in their lives...they want a change...but what? It's often easier to sit with the ambivalence, the what ifs and the worry. But, what does that really give you? What's the price of not changing? Of sitting and wishing it would just happen?

When I began training for my first triathlon, my head often filled up with ambivalent feelings, worry about what awful things could happen, whether I could actually do it or not, etc. To overcome it, I asked myself why I wanted to compete in a triathlon. What was my "WHY"? Why did I like triathlons? Why did I want to do them? When I discovered my answers to my "WHY" i realized that I loved the challenge of the triathlon, I enjoy working towards a goal, the sense of accomplishment, I enjoy the "wow" factor, and I enjoy the mental challenge most of all. Connecting to the "WHY" is what continues to motivate me.

Ask yourself, WHY you want what you want. Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to begin addressing your procrastination? Why do you want to discover what's next for you? Why do you want to run a marathon?

Why do you want to change? Find positive motivation. Engage your feelings, it creates an emotional charge that will power you through your procrastination and ambivalence. Your brain will naturally want to go towards pleasure...show yourself why you want it, and get into action to get it.

So put those ambivalent feelings to rest, get into action today. It's our own minds that create the "what ifs" before you start...once you begin, you realize it's not so bad afterall.

We Have Enough Time

2008-09-19T11:05:00.004-04:00

Time. It's a very valuable commodity. So valuable, yet so often taken for granted or overlooked.
Time. It can run our day.
Time. Is there ever enough?
Time. It ticks away, it's not given back.
Time. It's yours to spend.
Time. A measurement of speed for a racer.
Time. It's a valuable commodity.
Time. How do you spend your time?

Make friends with time. "We race to win, but at what price? Driven by the threat of time, we wonder why we feel so empty at the end of action-filled days." Diana Hunt.

Time. How you spend it defines the quality of your life.

It's time.

Perhaps this got you thinking...thinking is good, it awakens awareness.
With awareness comes new possibilities. Nothing changes, however, without new action.

Create new actions today to spend your time in ways that fulfill you, allow you to live in the moment and go to bed feeling full; not empty. Wondering how to move from how you spend your time now, to spending your time to be more fulfilled? Here's a tip, think about what you love to do. Do you make time for it? If not, make an appointment with yourself. Love to knit, read, exercise, garden? Whatever it is, write on your calendar that you have an appointment with yourself to do just that. Write it. You make appointment with other people...do the same for yourself.

This is the TIME of your life. How are you spending it?

Want a good return on your investment of time? Invest time in yourself.
Check out my "Bootcamp." It's well worth your time.

Thoughts for Real Change

2008-09-12T13:31:00.003-04:00

How about this statement, "Real, authentic change emerges only from a place of deep focus and intention." (I read this in "Body & Soul" magazine)

Real change comes from deep focus and intention. Hummm....consider that for a moment.
I'm sure you have some areas of your life that could use some change or tidying up. In order to make those changes, and to make them real and lasting, go to a place of deep focus and intention.

So, I ask you further...how do you go to a place of deep focus and intention? As a life coach one of my strengths is bringing my clients into that place of deep focus and intention. My job as a coach is to ask powerful questions, and challenge my clients to uncover their authentic answers. And the answers are not always on the surface, they are usually found deeper, underneath. This is why coaching can be so effective. It's not easy to look deeply within yourself alone. Having a supportive, encouraging coach enables you to take a more honest look.

As the quote above states, go to a place of focus and intention. Discover the power of meditation and yoga. If that is not for you take a walk or a hike and smell the fresh air, the breeze on your face, the birds chirping. Slow down, relax and find your place of inner focus.

I have always found that walking peacefully with a powerful question or statement on my mind allows me to go deeper into the question and uncover it's truths. And, really staying with the thought or question until I discover all it's riches has served me well. Staying focused on the question with the intention of discovering what might be there allows new a powerful thoughts to emerge. With the thoughts and discoveries comes awareness. With awareness comes new choices for change.

So what about you? Want to make real changes in your life? Take the time to focus and digest the questions in your life. Dig, unearth and discover.

What are you responsible for?

2008-09-04T09:52:00.003-04:00

A friend of mine told me about a women's group she attends. Each week they have a topic and engage in great discussions. During one of her meetings, the topic of discussion centered around this powerful question: "What are you 100% responsible for?"

What a great question! I found myself pondering over that question for several days. What am I responsible for? And what do I want to be responsible for? What am I feeling responsible for that is not mine?

I've discovered that I need to take on some responsibility and let go of some. This has fostered a new outlook for me. I'm committed to making some necessary changes in my life to be responsible for those things that I need to be responsible for. My own happiness is on the top of my list. What about you?

I'm going to keep this blog entry short to allow you to ponder that powerful question as well. Take out your journal and discover...."What are you 100% responsible for?"

Think

2008-08-01T11:33:00.004-04:00

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary the definition of the word think is this:
To form or have in the mind. Think implies the entrance of an idea into one's mind.

I picked up the book, "Choices That Change Lives" by Hal Urban. I have had it sitting on my shelf for a few months now, and decided to take it with me yesterday as I sat at the local pool to watch my son swim. I happened to turn to the sixth chapter, Thinking. Being that I love to know what thoughts go on in people's heads, I thought that was the chapter for me to read. With highlighter in hand, sure I'd find some nugget of information I could use, I eagerly began reading the chapter.

Now, to back up a moment. My father in law, a math educator and school administrator, always told his students, children and grandchildren to think. In fact, his license plate for his car was, "Think 1". He insisted that we do not live our lives unconsciously without thought. He believed that the answers to anything evolved if we thought first. I could not believe my eyes as I began to read...

So, here I am reading this book and the author mentions a college professor who also professed the importance of thinking. This professor said, "the problem was that most people never learn to operate it (the brain) as effectively as they could, and that this usually results in unfulfilled lives." "Our thoughts rule of lives." Reading this, I got chills up my spine. It's what I have believe and know...and what my father law knew well before me. Somehow I could feel my father-in-law looking over smiling. (he passed away 2 years ago)

The chapter goes on to talk about the difference between an empty head and an open mind. (Big difference here!!) An open mind is really an attitude of being open to new information and to other points of view. An open mind, therefore, is open to being fed nourishing ideas, thoughts and beliefs. A empty head is just that....empty.

Just as it's important to have a healthy diet, it's important to have a healthy mental diet. While it's impossible to totally control everything that goes into our minds due to the fact we are constantly bombarded with email, phone calls, tv, radio, etc. we can choose to screen out a high percentage of the trash, and replace it with healthier material. It's important, therefore, to have a steady stream of positive, nurturing, and uplifting ideas and information. Stimulate and challenge your mind AND take the time to weed and feed your mind as well.

My father in law was a brilliant man. He chose to share his brilliance with whomever he came in contact with. He always wanted to write a book, but never did. Somehow reading "Choices That Change Lives" reiterated the powerful messages he shared with me. As Earl Nightingale, one of the great modern thinkers, has said, "schools teach us how to remember, not to think." He suggested, "there should be a required course called "Thinking" at every grade level of school and throughout college." How I wish I could make that come true for both Earl Nightingale and my father in law.

I've posted some new quotes with regard to this topic of thinking. Read and enjoy...and give them some thought. Afterall, "You are what you are because of what goes into your mind." - Zig Ziglar

Facing Your Fears

2008-07-24T14:04:00.002-04:00

I wanted to share with you my latest speech entitled, "Facing Your Fears"...it's just something I have learned. I now know that facing your fears opens up a whole new world. Enjoy....

As a woman named, Marie Curie was quoted as saying, “Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.” Today, I’d like to share with you the power of facing your fears

To begin, I’d like to share with you a story from my childhood. Travel back with me…I’m 5 years old, taking swim lessons at the local Boys Club. It’s “test day” to move up into the next class level. There’s ten of us, anxiously holding on to the wall of the pool in the shallow end. Our instructor, Mrs. Atkinson, stands on the side of the pool, whistle in her hand, eyes piercing at us…she was someone you did not argue with…she was intimating! Mrs. Atkinson, with her loud, screaming voice, instructs us to swim two laps of the pool, with ABSOLUTELY NO stopping!! If we stopped and grabbed the wall for any reason, she would step on our hands.

I stood looking up the vast lane of the pool, seeing the water gently sway and change color with the increased depth. It was like the water was just patiently waiting for me. I could feel that pit in my stomach, the uneasy feeling, the nerves…the “what if” questions running a million miles an hour in my head. “What if,…I get tired”…What if “I can’t do it?”

The whistle blew, one by one we had to put our faces in the water and swim… each stroke and each breath was a struggle. I became increasingly more and more out of breath and desperately needed a break. I HAD to grab the wall. As I very meekly grabbed the wall, and pulled myself to it, I saw those familiar feet of Mrs. Atkinson!! While stepping on my hands, she began “yelling at me to let go and swim…there was NO stopping she yelled! Frightened and panicked, I slid back into the water, fighting for my breath, paddling along like a puppy pawing her way through the water. It left me feeling that if you get tired while swimming, you will be helpless.

I have numerous other frightful water stories; being pulled out by the currents in the ocean, sailing, snorkeling, white water rating, witnessing a near drowning … each event contained an almost terrifying moment. It all began to prove to me that water was something for me to stay away from.

Deciding to train for and complete in triathlons, at the age of 39, began the journey of facing my fear of water.

My first step was to re-learn to swim. I took it slow. Eventually, I began to swim longer and longer. I was becoming more comfortable in the pool. But what about swimming in a lake?

The weekend before my first race, I ventured to a friend’s lake to get used to the lake water. I put on my wetsuit, cap and goggles and walked to the edge of the water. My heart was racing; my body was quivering; that panic and fear came over me like a cold, white fog.

After 10 long minutes… I took a deep breath, bent over and flopped into the cold and murky water. As I began to swim towards the dock, keeping my head out of the water, I could feel the cold water entering my wetsuit, creeping its way up my body. It was a chilling reminder of just what I was doing. My heart was pounding with fright and I wrestled with what could be lying beneath the water to grab me and my own voice trying to convince me I that couldn’t do it.

Pulling myself up the ladder of the dock, I felt exhausted and defeated. The dock, which was covered with bird-droppings and fish carcasses, was a morbid site. It was like visiting a prison in which no one survived! (Was the dock trying to tell me something?) I looked back at the shore…and felt trapped. The dock was no place I wanted to stay. The shore, my comfort zone, laid waiting on the other side of that murky, cold water.

It took every ounce of strength and courage to get back into the water and swim back to shore. I reached shore and felt defeated and felt unable to swim more then 25 yds in that water. How could I swim ½ mile? I did not compete in my first triathlon.

Instead I had to figure out how to get through this storm of fear.
I happened to read that fears are irrational. That to overcome them you must take the time to understand what it is you really fear. This caused me to STOP…to ask myself, “What is it that I am really afraid of?

Drowning?
Feeling helpless?
Getting tired in the middle of the lake and not be seen and given help?
The unknown?
Feeling I could not handle it?…that my fear of water was bigger than I?

I discovered that my fear was based on past experiences, future assumptions and what I was making up to believe about myself. Once I understood this…I began to take charge of my own thoughts and beliefs. Instead of my “what ifs”…I discovered ways to handle my fears. If I got tired, I could roll on my back! Instead of ‘What if I can’t” I made up a mantra for myself, “I CAN.I WILL.”

On August 3, 2004, I completed my first triathlon. Coming out of that water was like that scene from the movie, Rocky. I emerged hands high…smiling. I did it. It was then that I realized that my fears were not bigger than I…I had proved to myself that I was bigger than my fear…and nothing could stop me. I had discovered that the only thing that truly stood in my way of getting what I wanted was my own head. Once I set my mind to believing that I could handle it, I did.

What I learned from all of it…and what I want to share with you is this:
Take the time to understand your fear, believe you can handle it. Feel your fear and do it anyway. The richness of life will emerge. Nothing in life, after all, is to be feared…just understood

Sharing What you Know

2008-07-23T11:36:00.004-04:00

Recently a woman I know from my gym told me about her new blog. She told me it was filled with just stuff she knew. Like where to find those hard to find shoes, or how the new restaurant in town was...or what was happening out in the Hamptons! It's truly filled with what she knows. Check it out: www.stacyknows.blogspot.com. Then on another occasion, my daughter's friend, was telling me how she was writing an email to send to her friends and family to share with them what she learned and experienced while on her annual work trip to Nicaragua. These trips, for her, don't mean traveling the a third world country to build houses and leave. Rather these trips touch the core of her soul. She arrives home having experienced amazing relationships, experiences and sights. While she and I discussed what she wanted to convey in her email, I suddenly realized that she too wanted to share what she knew. She knows, first hand, what it smells like, looks like, feels like to live in extreme poverty. She knows and is grateful for all that surrounds us here in the US. She knows the power of a smile. She knows what it is to reach out and help your neighbor.

Then today, as I stood in line for a shower my gym, a woman commented that she admired "us swimmers". She told me how she had such a tremendous fear of getting tired while swimming and then drowning. Her comment touched a cord within me. I, too, had had that exact same fear. The fear that if I were to try swimming, I'd get tired and drown. When I shared with her that I too had had that fear of water, she was relieved to know that others felt that way too. That was the third sychronocity around sharing what you know. I know about fear of water. And, I know about overcoming that fear. I also know that when we face our fears and understand them, there is a whole new world awaiting us.

I am giving a speech on facing your fears. I'll be posting that speech...cause it's really something I know about. AND, I'd like to share it with you. Who knows, perhaps it'll inspire someone else to face their fears and reap the rewards on the other side.

Self Talk

2008-06-25T12:00:00.003-04:00

Through my athletic experience and mental game training, I have become more and more aware of the power of our words. I truly believe that whatever you believe, you will achieve, whether you want to or not. Whatever our thoughts are that we cultivate in our minds each day germinate and grow. One day becoming reality.

When we repeat something often enough it will start to become you. For example, if you think you are not able to control your eating, you won't. Your self-talk each day will continue to confirm this belief.

A change in what you tell yourself will result in a change in your behavior. So, for example, simply changing the above example to, "I can control my eating." Or if that seems to challenging, try this, "I am learning to control my eating." Begin to let those new thoughts and words cultivate new beliefs about yourself. There's a big difference between believing and telling yourself you have no control and believing and telling yourself you can or are learning to control your eating.

Listen carefully to the words you say to yourself. Choose to change the "I can't" to "I can", the "I have to" to, "I want to", the "I should" to "I could"...

You are what you think!!

The Key to Moving Forward Consistently

2008-06-05T11:38:00.004-04:00

Our lives are often filled with numerous obligations, responsibilities, wants and needs. Often leading us to wonder how we can possibly achieve our personal goals when life is so packed with stuff. This "stuff" often leaves us with little time to even think about our goals, our own wants and needs. Outlined below is a process I share with my clients to help them get clear about where they want to be and enable them to move forward more consistently.

Step 1: STOP; find an hour to sit down, relax and visual what you want. How would you like your life to be; want less stress? more time? better health? understand your life purpose? Take time to journal, discover what you really want.
Step 2: From that vision, create your goals. Long term (5 years out), medium 2-3 years, short term (1 year) and then monthly and weekly goals.
Step 3: Write those goals down and post them where you will see them every day.
Step 4: Every Sunday night, write three goals for the week.
Step 5: Every evening, write down 6 tasks to complete for the following day, making sure that at least one task is in line with your goal. This is the key to being consistent. Defining just six tasks for each day helps you stay focused. Utilize your time to move forward, not spinning in an endless cycle.
Step 6: Enjoy the journey, remember goals don't have to be reached...just strived for.

I'm often asked for help in setting goals. Keep them simple and remember to use the SMART acroynm.
Specific-What exactly.
Measurable-It must have a way to be measured.
Action oriented - What's the action that will be taken?
Realistic-It has to be realistic...
Time restrained- Put a date to complete this by.

Goals are helpful to keep you focused and motivated. It's one thing to say you want to achieve the goal, it's another to implement the actions to take to get there. If you find you need support and/or accountability to achieve your goals, that's what I do best.

Driven by the TO-DO List?

2008-04-17T14:22:00.004-04:00

"When busyness is the measure of time, no matter how much time exists it is never enough." - Diana Hunt

Why is it that we often feel we are really living our life when we are busy? Busy with our to-do lists full of stuff. How often have you said you don't have time? No time to sit down, no time to read a book, no time to meet a friend for lunch, no time to garden, no time for exercise. No time? Because we're busy with our stuff...not what's really important to us.

My clients often come to me with the above complaints. No time, driven by their to-do lists, doing for others, working hard, etc. But, more importantly, when I ask them what is important to them in their life? What brings them joy? What's fun? They don't have an answer. It's easier to just get caught up in the to do lists and daily activities then to slow down and think about what is really important to you.

Take a minute, right now...to ask yourself, "What's important to you in your life?"
Travel, family, compassion, integrity, fun, adventure, learning, creating...?? Now,
how can you MAKE time for these important elements in your life?

Here's a tip: Each night before you go to bed, make your action list. Limit this list to just six tasks. What are the top six tasks you will accomplish tomorrow? Once you accomplish them, you'll have created some space to enjoy with a good book, a walk, gardening, planning your next trip, etc. Create space in your day for what's truly important.

Discover life outside of your to-do list. Get in touch with what's truly important to you. Your life will be forever richer for the experience.

Your Confidence Resume

2008-03-26T13:51:00.003-04:00

How confident are you? Do you often feel you lack the confidence to do something?
What gives you confidence? The definition of confidence is your belief in your ability to execute a task. When we're first learning a new task, our confidence might be low. As we practice the new task our skills develop and our confidence increases. How often do we practice a task and not take into account that we've improved? In life, it's important to take account of where you are, where you have come from and where you are heading. With regard to confidence, it's important to stop, take account, see how far you have come! It's a real confidence booster!

When I compete in triathlons, my confidence can take a nose dive, if I let it. One way I have discovered to keep my confidence high is to have my confidence resume with me. My confidence resume consists of my answers to a series of questions. The answers become my positive, affirmations...my confidence resume.

I invite you to create your own confidence resume. How would you answer the following questions?

1. What are your strengths?
2. What have others complimented you on?
3. What have you accomplished that you are most proud of?
4. How would you describe your skills to others if you took the most positive stance possible?
5. What can you say about your life that has given you confidence?
6. When you are confident in some area of your life, what does that feel like?

Feel like you've lost confidence? Don't have confidence? I truly believe that
confidence resides in all of us. Choose to be confident. Dig in...find the confidence...even the smallest grain...it's there. It's within YOU...no one can
take your confidence away from you...only YOU can do that!

SO, Head up, shoulders back, chin up...BE confident!

Your Bucket List

2008-02-25T13:07:00.003-05:00

Have you seen the movie, "The Bucket List?" I went to see it after I was giving a seminar and a member made the comment that I should see the movie. At the time of the seminar we were talking making time to do the things we love, but put off because we feel we have no time!

The movie, if you have not seen it, is well worth your time! I won't spill all the beans here...but what I walked away thinking about was, what would I put on a list of things that I want to accomplish before my life is over. Travel, yes, like going to New Zealand or Montana and Wyoming. Trying something that seems too risky and frightful like sky diving? NO. What else, then, would I put on my list? The more I sat with this question, the more I began to realize that for me, it's spending more time with my family...quality time. Having belly laughs with my girlfriends and letting our "hair down," worrying less about getting stuff done and just getting outside and embracing the day. On another note, I'd Go to Manhattan with my husband in a limo, take a horse and buggy ride through Central Park, dine in a really nice restaurant, (like we used to do when we dated...) and then take a walk through the city.

What about you? What's on your list? And...how and when will you make that happen?
Take out a blank piece of paper and begin your list...keep it close and cross off and add to it regularly.

It only Takes A Minute

2008-02-06T13:02:00.000-05:00

Have you ever thought about how each minute, every minute, a single minute affects your future? It may seem like such a small amount of time and that minutes go by so quickly. But, did you ever think about how one minute quickly adds to ten minutes, to one hour, to one day, to one week, to one month, to one year, etc, etc, etc? Minutes are a big deal! Minutes are the starting point of building your dreams. From a minute well spent comes and hour well spent...the hour well spent creates a day well spent...pretty soon you are looking at a great year and from there...it's a great lifetime. And to think...it all started with a single minute.

We are all given the same sixty seconds in the minute. And, time waits for noone. Tick, tick, tick....once spent they can not be replaced. So, choose to spend your minutes wisely! Time is a constant for us all, the rich, the poor, male, female, young and old. Time...we all have the same amount of it. It's how we choose to spend it
that makes all the difference.

How do you choose to spend your time? Do you use it wisely or do you let it pass on by? Do you fill your time with time-wasters? Or do you fill your time with life? Your success or failure depends on how you choose to spend your time.

There is no time to lose...life does come to an end. Life, unlike a minute, is not countable...who knows how long you are here.

It only takes a minute to change your life. It takes less than a minute to make the choice to spend your time wisely and with purpose. Make this minute count. Make the decision to change and move in a new direction. This is the minute that counts. This is the minute you'll change your life!

Now's the time!

What Would YOU do with $1 Million CONTEST

2008-01-15T10:57:00.000-05:00

I was watching "Deal or No Deal" last night. Howie,the host of the show, asked the contestant, "What would you do with one million dollars?" That got me thinking....
what would I do with one million dollars? I had a great time dreaming about what that would be like, what I'd do, how it would impact my life.

Here's an offer I'd like to throw out here. Answer the question, what would you do with a million dollars? Write your response in the comment section of this blog. I'll hold a contest. On January 31st I'll pick one response. That person will receive $150 of coaching. Perhaps you can use it to propel yourself into moving towards a "million dollar life". One that is fun, exciting, fulfilling and has you really lit up!

What do you have to lose? Jump in. 1 Million dollars! Dream big...what will your life be like? How will that amount of money affect you? What have you always wanted to do but haven't because of money? Who would you share it with?

Be a winner...enter the contest...and dream big.

Resolutions or Intentions?

2008-01-07T16:27:00.001-05:00

It's that time of year...time to make the New Year's Resolution. Do you have one? I have been listening to people say, "Yes, I made a resolution...but I never keep it." Makes me wonder if just the word, resolution means to wish for something, or put some effort in and when it does not materialize quickly enough...out the window it goes.

I am part of a Spirituality Group at my church. This week's topic of discussion will be Resolutions. One member of the group said, let's rename the topic, Intentions.
Intentions give us a new perspective on resolutions. What intentions will you set for this year? What intentions do you have for today?

So what does it take to keep your resolution or to have clear goals or intentions? I recently read that the American Society for Training and Development gathered these statistics of the likelihood of a person completing a goal breaks:

Hear an idea = 10%
Consciously decide to adopt an idea = 25%
Decide when they will do it = 40%
Plan how they will do it = 50%
Commit to someone else that they'll do it = 65%
And when they have a specific accountability appointment with the person they have committed to = 95% actually complete the goal.

My intention for 2008 is to help as many people as I can to create goals that excite and motivate them which will allow them to live a life that is rich, fulfilling and on fire!

What about you? Do you know what your intentions are for 2008? Do you know what you want in your life? Consciously decide to adopt an intention, an idea...decide when you will do it, develop a plan and commit to telling someone of your intentions. Next, have someone hold you accountable to what you say you will do.

It's your life...live it to the fullest! Don't put off doing the things you love...NOW is the time to act. If not now, when? You have a whole year ahead of you.

I've told you my intention for 2008...how can I help you with yours?

Personal Values

2007-12-14T12:46:00.000-05:00

Understanding and getting clear about your personal values is something I spend a lot of time on with my clients. Values are what guide us. When we live according to our values we feel alive, we feel life is good! When we are not honoring our values, we feel uneasy and yucky. Most of my clients have never taken the time to discover their values. Once you discover your values and make decisions to honor them, you will see a shift in the quality of your life.

Here's an exercise that I recently found that is a great way to uncover your values. (Unfortunately, I can not give credit where the credit is due, as I don't recall where I read it.)

Think of someone you admire, it can be a family member, someone from history, or a sport figure, etc. Now, write down ten things you admire about this person. For example, I admired my father in law. So, I might write, "He never allowed obstacles to get into his way."

After you compile your list, change the he/she to "I". So, I would write, "I never allow obstacles to get into my way."

See what this does? Can you take them in as your values? These qualities are also within you.
Perhaps you have not honored them as fully as is possible. So, now the challenge!! How can you start living those values more fully in your every day? For me, it's being aware of the obstacles that come my way, and just continuing to move around, over, or through them! I have a strong personal value of challenge! The challenge to overcome whatever comes my way.

You Are What you Think

2007-11-29T09:49:00.001-05:00

"Whatever thoughts you plant in your subconscious mind
and nourish every day with conviction and emotion will
one day become a reality.

Constant repetition carries conviction.
Repeat something often enough and it
will start to become you.

A change in what you tell yourself will result in a
change in your behavior.

What you impress upon your mind, you'll inevitable become.
You are what you think."

I recently received this quote from The Daily Guru (www.thedailyguru.com).
Just as we are what we eat, we are what we think. When we fill our bodies
with healthy, whole, nourishing food we are fueling our bodies to enable us to
live a full healthy life. When we fill our minds with positive thoughts we fuel our minds to inform our bodies and our soul that enables us to become our best.

We all have the inner critic that fills our minds with "I can't", "You're not good
enough", "Don't even bother," or "Just quit." That negative inner critic often gets louder as we begin to make changes to our lives. That inner critic resists change and wants us to stay right where we are. This increase in negative chatter can cause us to feel we're in the midst of chaos. The negative voice is so loud! Clients often ask me, "How do I quiet that voice?" or "How do I NOT listen to it?"

It's all about choice. You can choose to listen to the negative chatter or you can choose to do something about it. If you choose to continue to listen to the chatter, where will that take you? What's the impact on your life?

If you choose to do something about it, here are steps to Quiet Your Inner Critic.
1. Gain awareness. Notice when you hear that negative voice.
*When are feel criticized
*If you make a mistake
*Situations where you risk failing
*Situations where you are challenging yourself
*Times when you feel hurt
*Times when you are making changes
2. Gather your awareness. For one week, become aware as possible of the negative statements that you hear. Keep a log using three columns:
1. Time of day
2. Negative statement
3. Positive reconstruction*
3. For each negative statement write down a positive reconstruction of the sentence.
a. For example: "I can't do it" becomes "I can try"
"I am not (Fill in the blank)" becomes "I am becoming (BLANK)"
b. Eventually your "becoming" statements will turn to "I AM" statements!

Take the advice from the quote above, whatever you plant in your mind will become a reality.
Repeat it often, and it will become you.

Go out and fill your mind, your body and your soul with positive and nourishing fuel. You are what you think! What are your thoughts about yourself? Make those changes today! It's time.

Have A Plan, Work Your Plan

2007-11-20T13:14:00.000-05:00

Have a Plan, Work your Plan

When we have daily success in our lives, we receive the benefits from feeling good about ourselves as people. When we create a positive environment for ourselves and others, we learn and perform better.

When we recognize harmful thoughts as they happen, and change them to helpful ones, we learn and perform better.

Here’s a way to incorporate daily success into our lives and our to-do lists!

If your goal is to fit exercise into your weekly schedule, here’s four steps to accomplish that goal.

1. Make the time: Look at your daily routine. Where can you find 30-60 minutes to exercise each day. Finding the time might require you to change your routine…which is good, because your current routine is not allowing for the exercise time. Write your exercise time on your calendar. Make an appointment with yourself.
a. Wake up earlier,
b. Change your morning routine so that you go to the gym instead of reading emails or reading the paper.
c. Take a walk before your shower.
d. Use your lunch hour
e. Pack your gym bag and leave it in the car

2. Have a workout plan before you go to the gym.
a. Know what you will do before you get there.

3. Have a contingency plan.
If the kids are sick, it’s raining, or you’re called to a last minute meeting, have plan B in mind to implement if going to the gym is not going to work today.
a. Jump rope
b. Push ups
c. Go for a walk/run

4. Be happy with progress-not the results.
a. Remember, Action is progress.
b. Track your progress. Write down what you did, how you felt, your HR, miles, weight in a workout journal after each workout.
c. Every so often, flip through the pages and see how far you have come.

Exercise is now part of your daily routine! Make no excuses!

So, what about you? How will you implement these tips into your life to increase your daily success? Post your reply.

Steps to Achieving A More Balanced Life

2007-11-07T12:07:00.000-05:00

In general, Mothers have HUGE hearts and they give it all. They work until it hurts. They give to their children, spouses, friends, at work, volunteering...the list goes on and on. Most Moms also tend to get frustrated, stressed, exhausted, drained. Moms often try to solve this by working harder, giving more, doing more....really giving EVERYONE their all. And, it shows. Many times it shows in their health, in their well-being. Giving until it hurts is not sustainable.

However, there IS another way!

Most Moms want good health, energy and more time.
How do I know this? I was one of those Moms. I gave to everyone and everything, except myself. I felt guilty if I dared even think about doing something for me. Sit down, read a book? I just could not! There was always something to DO!
I live my life very differently now. I learned to slow down, live in the moment, fill myself up with what I love. This new way of living has enabled me to be fit, healthy, balanced and present for my family.

Here's four things you need to know:
1. Invest in yourself, NOW. Not tomorrow. TODAY.
Just as a financial advisor would tell you, if you want to save $10 a month, put it in your savings account first, then pay your bills. Same for YOU, fill yourself up then you'll know how much you have to give.
2. Get clear about what your personal values are, and start living them.
What's really important to you? Think about someone you most admire. What are the qualities of that person? Those qualities are important to you because they are also your personal values. Is honesty important to you? Then how can you live more honestly right now?
3. Know the first signs of stress and release them.
Pay attention to your body. How do you experience stress? How do you release it?
4. Set clear boundaries. Learn to say NO!

Sounds simple, doesn't it?
Well, the key to making changes in your life is not to just think about what and how to change...it's taking ACTION!
So, how will you invest in yourself TODAY? What action will you take?
What action will you take in getting clear about your values and then living them?
What action will you take to relieve your stress?
What do you need to say NO to in order to say YES to yourself?

Tips to Achieve your Fitness Goals

2007-10-31T12:50:00.000-04:00

Top Ten Ways to Achieve
Your Fitness Goals

1. Establish S.M.A.R.T. measurable goals, write it down and post it where you will see it each day. (The bathroom mirror, the fridge door, the dashboard of your car)

2. Schedule your workout time on your calendar, make an appointment with yourself. Have a workout plan before you arrive at the gym.

3. Create support. You don’t have to do it alone. Ask family, friends or a coach to assist you with moral support.

4. Plan your meals one day in advance and keep a food journal of everything you put into your mouth. Get organized to eat healthy even when life is busy. Awareness is the first step to change. See what exactly you are putting in your mouth.

5. Plan your next workout upon completion of your current workout. Be sure to balance them between cardio and weight training to achieve lasting results. This allows you to have a plan of action when you get to the gym.

6. Find several sources of information that you can easily reference to answer any fitness and nutrition questions. Magazines, books, trainers.

7. Find a workout buddy or hire a trainer. This will give you the support you need to stay consistent. Having someone to meet each time makes it much tougher to skip a day. Or hire a trainer to jump start your new routine.

8. Use your workout as a release point for the day. Try focusing on your body and forget about all the other distractions in your day. It’s your hour of power!

9. Track and see your progress. Each time you go to the gym, put a dollar in a jar and watch the $$ add up. Use that money to reward yourself when you reach your goal. Keep a journal of your workouts, if you notice you are hitting a plateau look back at what you have been doing. Many times just a small change here or there will get you back on track.

10. Stay consistent. Once your plan is set do not deviate from it. Stay the course. Action is progress. Don’t give up!

Move Past Your Thoughts

2007-10-16T10:28:00.000-04:00

"Anxiety and fear strip away courage and makes great performances impossible. Doubt makes even the best decisions feel difficult and causes procrastination. Anger rips your focus away from your goals. Frustration can only serve to make you quit. Guilt makes it impossible to enjoy any successes you achieve. Jealousy and envy create dishonesty, hate and corruption."

After reading that, did you notice that the only thing that can truly stop you are your own thoughts? The reverse is also true, that the only things that can propel you into doing, being and having anything you want in life are also your thoughts and emotions.

I read the above statement in a book quite a while ago and wrote it down. I reflect on it often. When I am experiencing frustration, for example, it causes me to realize that my frustration will only cause me to want to quit. It forces me to take a look at where the frustration is coming from. Sometimes it is simply a distraction, a negative thought or something I am tolerating. By taking a look at where the frustration is coming from it helps me realize I live in choice. Choice to remove or change action to continue on my journey and not fall into my frustration.

Likewise, when I made the decision to compete in triathlons I realized I had to face my fear (phobia) of water. My fear and anxiety were the only things that stood in my way of achieving my goal of competing in a triathlon. Once I realized that, facing my fears, understanding what they were, finding new ways to handle them...enabled me to get into the water and compete in the triathlon. It also enabled me to release and experience the wonderful, empowered life that awaited me at the other side of my fear.

I have not always been a positive person. In fact, it was not long ago that I was very negative. Through my triathlon training and goal setting, I have realized the value of changing my negative thoughts to my positive thoughts. Not only to I apply positve thinking to my sports training, but also to my life. I continue to find ways to challenge what I believe I can do. It keeps me positive and on my edge.

We do experience what we believe!! If you believe it you WILL achieve it.

What do YOU believe about yourself? What do your thoughts and emotions tell you?

The Art of Possibility

2007-10-09T10:25:00.000-04:00

I am reading a terrific book called, "The Art of Possibility" by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander. Throughout the book the authors intertwine stories. One such story describes a dinner table scene. Each night at the table each child was asked what they had done that day. The author, being one of the younger children, felt the question was really, "What did you achieve today?" Having to listen to his older siblings answer with all they had accomplished he felt he grew up with an "undertow of anxiety..." He felt he did not accomplish or achieve anything of significance.

Moving forward in his life, he decided to rename the "dinner table game" to one he called, "I am a contribution." So, instead of what did I do or achieve today, he would ask "How will I be a contribution today? or "What contribution did I make?" After reading this I decided to give the exercise a try.

I was at the beach this weekend with my family for an annual reunion on the Jersey Shore. It was unseasonably warm and we found ourselves building a huge sand castle. While taking my turn at digging and designing, I asked myself the question, "How will I be a contribution today?" I decided my contribution to the grand castle would be the entry bridge. Complete with sand drippies. My son, was busy sculpting the center of the castle, my niece happily digging the moat. As I began producing the sand drippies for the bridge, my very shy niece came by with my brother. Usually, my young niece does not talk to me but was intrigued to learn how to make a "drippie." Together we made the drippies on the bridge. It was a special moment.

As I laid in bed that night, I reflected on what contributions I had made today. More importantly I saw how that sand castle stood as a reminder that we all contributed in some way to make that sand castle a very special one. Some dug, some designed, some found shells, sticks and decorations, some patted down the walls, some made drippies....together is was a mighty fortress!

We all have something to contribute to this world. How will YOU be a contribution today?

Life is Like a Sailboat

2007-10-01T10:59:00.001-04:00

"You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction." -Jim Rohn

I gave this quote to a group of women the other day. It's one of my favorite quotes. I remember a time in my life that I felt I had no control over my destination. I was (and still am) a mother of five living a very busy, full life. Yet, I was yearning for something more. Yes, I love being a mother. But at the time, not only was I questioning who I was, I wondered who my kids thought I was. Did they see me as someone who cooked their meals, walked them to the bus stop, did the laundry, the shopping, etc, etc, etc? Did they know that I had other talents that I no longer made time to pursue?

The day I chose to change my direction, was the day my life took on a new destination. While I won't go into the details of my transition, needless to say, I am happy I chose to do something about it. I now live empowered, confident and full of passion for my life. I am a woman, mother, a wife, an athlete, a musician, a life coach, an entrepeneur! My kids see me capable of creating a life I love.

I no longer live my life letting the wind blow my sails wherever it may. Instead, I live focused on the destination of my choice and I maximize the winds to sail on. I enjoy the gentle breezes and the brisk winds.

How about you? What's your direction?

Setting Goals

2007-09-21T11:03:00.000-04:00

I was at the Coaching Super Summit this past weekend in Baltimore, MD. It was a fantastic learning experience. We were introduced to a number of concepts that enabled us to think more outside of the box. I took home many new ideas.

As a Life and Sports Performance Coach I help my clients set realistic goals for themselves. Often times, goal setting is new to them. While at the Summit, Ramon Williamson, one of the guest speakers and author of the book, "Six Simple Things That Can Change Your Life," said to us, "People set goals based on what they don't have, not what they want." Uhm...that thought has stayed with me.

Take some time yourself to reflect on that question. How do you base your goals? What do you want?

A Whole New World

2007-08-02T17:47:00.000-04:00

Only a month or so ago, I decided it was time to hire a web designer to help me create a website for my coaching business. Little did I know the decision to create a website catapulted me on a journey I did not expect. From deciding on colors that best suited me, to words to describe what I do, who I am, what I have to offer...and oh, make it short and concise!, to pictures, design, placement, features....the list goes on. But, somehow, I am coming out on the other side now. My website is getting more defined and some am I. Each decision leads to another, each question brings me on a soul search...and finally it has led me to discovering just what I have to offer, who I am and what I am about.

And, now, here I sit at my computer, writing my first blog. Blog. A word I had not heard of until about 3 months ago! It seems I have entered a whole new world through the door of my decision to design my website. So, I look forward to seeing where this world brings me.