A Meaningful Poem

A friend recently sent me one of those forwarded emails. This quote was part of the email. It's an important philosophy that we all can adapt.

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Love the ones who don't just because you can.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Kiss slowly.
Forgive quickly.
God never said life would be easy.
He just promised it would be worth it."

What is fear?

Fear comes up when we want to make changes. Why is that? What is fear?
Fear starts in your mind. Fear is a reaction to what you are thinking within your own mind. Fear is not outside of ourselves. Fear resides within us.

When you sense fear, your body must be alerted to it by your mind. So, to understand that fear begins in your mind is the first step to overcoming it.

As I have said before on this blog; our thoughts drive our actions. Therefore, fearful thoughts evoke fearful physical actions. Like tension, sweaty hands, nervous stomach, weak knees, the want to retreat. Along with these outer bodily actions our stress hormones are activated along with our fight or flight response.

Everyone has fears. I had a tremendous fear of water. What's important is not that you have fears, but how you handle them. Think of any champion athlete who competes in a tough sport like kayaking class 5 rapids in the Colorado River. Champions learn to master their fears well enough to get the job done. Champions don't let fear stand in their way!

As I mentioned earlier, I had a phobia of water. My fear was huge. How did I learn to overcome my fear? Here are 10 steps to master your fear.

1. Remember fear is in the mind. Recognize this. Awareness is the first step.
2. Fear is another way of saying, "I can't handle it." Ask yourself what you can't handle? My answer was, "I can't handle the thought that if I get tired while swimming, I'll be exhausted, noone will see me, and I'll drown." Dig into exactly what you are fearing will happen or won't happen.
3. Take small steps towards building your strength. For me it was learning to swim. I joined a swim group twice a week, in the safety of a pool, to increase the distance I could swim. Take small, safe steps. Fear can stop us dead in our tracks if we allow it to. Taking any action towards it...quiets it.
4. Get support. My fear was of open water. I got support by asking a friend who was a very strong swimmer to accompany me in a practice open water swim. He stayed right next to me while we swam in a lake together.
5. To control your fear try singing! Yes, sing to yourself. It helps to control your breathing and calms you down. It's a great distraction from your mind.
6. Stay in the NOW. Focus on what you need to do in the moment...right now. It will inch you forward towards overcoming the fear. When I swam my first open water race...I just focused on my stroke. I did not focus on the water, my thoughts, or anything other than putting my arms into the water and stroking.
7. Think positive. Review the steps you have taken and see your progress. Create positive affirmations you can repeat to yourself over and over.
8. Embrace fear. Recognize it. Without the experience of moving past fear, there is no growth. You can't be successful if your not moving forward.
9. Remember the Wizard in the "Wizard of Oz?" He said, "Pay no attention to the mad behind the curtain." Pay no attention to what you create in your mind!
10. JUST DO IT! The fear you feel is nothing compared to the growth, excitment and success you will feel in overcoming the fear. So, go for it!

Small Changes...BIG RESULTS

It is so easy to get caught up in the daily demands of a busy household. Laundry, meals, driving to and from activities, meal planning and preparation...you get the idea, the list can go on and on. As a step-mother and mother of five, I felt lost in motherhood. I felt like I had lost my first name. I was always referred to as someone's mother, wife or daughter. Taking time to do something positive for myself felt selfish. I was always pushing my needs off to give to my family.

I learned the hard way, but I learned. I learned that taking time for myself, fulfilling my needs and doing things I enjoyed made me a better person and mother. One important lesson I have learned is that there is no Someday in the week. There is only Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, etc. If there is something important to me, I no longer put it off. Like the name of my business and my philosophy...Now's the time. Because there is no better time than now.

I say all this to encourage you to take care of yourself, to take time to do things you love. If you aren't sure what you would do...take the time to discover your passions. Taking time doesn't mean you have to "abandon ship". It can mean making small changes. Small changes like putting the things on your "someday list" on your "Today" list. This is one small change that can lead to BIG results.

Smile and Move

This short video is great. It speaks to my feeling of making every moment count, to live life to the fullest. To make NOW the time to get moving.

Enjoy!

Limiting Beliefs

We all have them. Beliefs we hold about ourselves. Some of them are what we call, Limiting Beliefs. We label them limiting because these beliefs limit what we think or believe we can do. For example, I enjoy training for sprint triathlons. Until recently I always thought of myself as a 3-4 mile runner. I never really ran more than four miles at a time. This belief about myself limited me from seeing myself as a person who could run say 8 miles. Believing that I could not run more than 4 miles and that I was a "4 mile" runner...did not allow me to be an "8 mile" runner.

So, how do you stop a limiting belief? The first step is simply awareness. Limiting beliefs can become part of our unconscious belief system...and we simply just go with it. Becoming aware that a belief is limiting you...is key. Bring it out into the open. With awareness comes possibilities, new understanding and new choices.

Take a look at your beliefs about yourself. What's possible if you were to break them open? What's possible if you didn't buy into it? How might you change your limiting belief into a more empowering belief?

Today, I ran 9.5 miles. I no longer see myself as a "3 miler". I've broke open that limiting belief and now imagine what's possible. Perhaps a marathon one day. (Something I never would have even thought about being that "3 miler".) What's possible for you?

From a Worm to a Butterfly

The steps a caterpillar takes in becoming a beautiful, colorful butterfly is a great metaphor. I often speak with my clients about the comfort of their "cocoon" and how the cocoon represents our habits, routines...what we know...whether it's working or not...it's comfortable and safe.

To EMERGE as a butterfly...leaving the warmth and safety of the cocoon, requires six steps.

1. Determination: How hungry for success or change are you? Your want or hunger will fuel your motivation to see the results or changes you want. How big is YOUR want?

2. Inspiration: Why do you want what you want? What is inspiring your to see the growth you desire? Where will you get inspiration from?

3. Vision: What is your vision for yourself? What are you trying to accomplish? How will life look different after you have emerged from that cocoon? (Flying like a butterfly instead of laying in a cocoon!)

4. Initiative: You must take action to make it happen. Ask for help, do research or just take small steps forward. Chew a little, rest, chew a little more, rest. Just start nibbling.

5. Network: Create strategic partners, create a support system - ask for assistance. Who can support you in making the changes and taking the small steps? How will you create the support?

6. Believe: Rid yourself of negative and limiting beliefs. Believe in yourself. You are no longer a worm, you are a beautiful butterfly. How will you accept this new belief? Write an affirmation for yourself and post it somewhere you see it everyday and repeat it to yourself constantly.

What's ready to EMERGE in you? What's keeping you in the comfort of the cocoon?
Imagine the possibilities living life as a butterfly...free to fly above the trees, take nectar and pollen from flowers...spreading your beauty throughout the land.

Top 10 Ingredients to a Successful Visualization

Anticipating an event, competition, or a stressful situation can cause people to feel anxious, uncertain or even fearful. Anticipating the start of race, giving a presentation or giving birth (flying in a plane) can all elicit anxious feelings. When we focus on our “what ifs” that can run through our minds the anxious feelings only increase. The “what ifs” also play out in our minds in not only words, but in pictures as well. Our “what ifs” are the movie we’re living. What you see is what you believe.

Many of our challenges in life, sports and in business can be handled by changing our “what ifs”. How many times have you imagined an outcome to a life event that you were certain would not be favorable? The event probably went just as you imagined, right?

Champions in life, sports and in business use visualization strategies to overcome feelings of anxiety, perform at their best and to increase their energy and enjoyment. Every visualization has 10 important ingredients.

1.Begin by relaxing.
A relaxed mind equals a relaxed body.
Quiet your body and your mind. Relax your breathing.
2.It must be real, right now, in the present moment.
3.Use all of your senses.
Actively engage what it feels, tastes, smells, sounds, and looks like to perform exactly as you would like to.
4.Use repetition and small doses.
Practice your visualization in small doses. Start out with 5 minutes. Stop. Then do it again for just 5 minutes. Try to increase your time to a maximum of 20 minutes, two to three times a day.
5.Use different perspectives.
Imagine seeing yourself perform through the lens of a camera. Try the zoom lens and the wide lens. See yourself from the front, the back, and the side. See it from your mind’s eye and as an observer.
6.Utilize your emotions
Feel your excitement, your pride, as you visualize your performance.
7.It’s time to be perfect
The best time to be a perfectionist is in your visualization. See yourself performing perfectly.
8.Use past successes to fuel and energize you.
Recall past successes. Recall the emotions, your senses to energize and build your confidence.
9.Incorporate affirmations
Utilize positive self-talk. Repeat affirmations to yourself.
10.Practice, practice, practice.
Like any skill the more you practice, the better you become.