An amazing thing happened to me on Tuesday. I became a grandmother!!
My daughter/step-daughter, gave birth to her first child, Dean.
The miracle of life! The miracle of labor, of the human body, of the immediate bond between Mom, Dad and child. The joy, the newness, the awe of it all. There's nothing like the birth of a child.
At a recent conference I attended in Montreal, we were treated to a Native American blessing. A song writer had put it to music and had the huge room of 2,000 people sing it in a round. The words and music brought tears to my eyes. It was a blessing I knew I'd want to bestow on Dean.
Here are the words:
When you were born you cried
And the world rejoiced
Live your life so that when you die
The world cries and you rejoice!
I truly believe that each of us have been put on this earth for a reason. We've all
been given great gifts. It's up to us to use them. Are you living your life so that when you die the world cries and you rejoice?
It's never too late to live your life differently, more fully and with meaning.
As I watched my daughter and son in law become parents...I saw them see new meaning for their lives. Our children stand for us to live our life so that when we die they cry and we rejoice.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Why Would You Need a Coach?
I often hear the comment, you need a life coach, in a way that indicates "you have a problem." I find myself saying, I'm not a therapist, I'm not here to solve your problem. In order to make more clear just why someone would WANT or NEED a coach I'd like to address that very question. "Why would you want or need a coach?"
Many people are self-directed and self-managaing. They take intuitive, they know what they want and they have strategies and discipline to go after it. Yet, these very people are often the first to line up for a coach. They know that a coach can see things that they can not. Every great baseball coach has other coaches on his staff...because he can't see everything. We as individuals can't see past our own beliefs and assumptions. Thus, a second pair of eyes is better than one!
For the people that are not self-directed and self-managing coaching is a powerful resource. Coaching allows the individual to get clear as to where they are in life (like it or not), where they want to be (or perhaps figure out where they want to be) and then create a plan to get there. Coaching for these people offers guidance, support and accountability. Accountability is sometimes the biggest benefit. Where else in your life do you have someone holding you to what you say you want? Figuring out who you are and where you want to be is an empowering experience. One that a life coach will enable you to discover.
A third party that benefits from life coaching is the person that feels run by life. Coaching helps individuals learning to take back their life and be the driver instead of the passenger! Discovering our strengths, changing perspectives and realizing we can create what we want is the power of coaching.
I'm sure anyone who reads this would relate to some part of the descriptions above. Coaching is not about me having the right answers...rather it's about me asking you the right questions.
As a coaching friend of mine says, "Therapists use couches...coaches use stairs."
Coaching is about moving forward and creating.
Hope this helps.
Many people are self-directed and self-managaing. They take intuitive, they know what they want and they have strategies and discipline to go after it. Yet, these very people are often the first to line up for a coach. They know that a coach can see things that they can not. Every great baseball coach has other coaches on his staff...because he can't see everything. We as individuals can't see past our own beliefs and assumptions. Thus, a second pair of eyes is better than one!
For the people that are not self-directed and self-managing coaching is a powerful resource. Coaching allows the individual to get clear as to where they are in life (like it or not), where they want to be (or perhaps figure out where they want to be) and then create a plan to get there. Coaching for these people offers guidance, support and accountability. Accountability is sometimes the biggest benefit. Where else in your life do you have someone holding you to what you say you want? Figuring out who you are and where you want to be is an empowering experience. One that a life coach will enable you to discover.
A third party that benefits from life coaching is the person that feels run by life. Coaching helps individuals learning to take back their life and be the driver instead of the passenger! Discovering our strengths, changing perspectives and realizing we can create what we want is the power of coaching.
I'm sure anyone who reads this would relate to some part of the descriptions above. Coaching is not about me having the right answers...rather it's about me asking you the right questions.
As a coaching friend of mine says, "Therapists use couches...coaches use stairs."
Coaching is about moving forward and creating.
Hope this helps.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Life Balance
I'm often asked to speak about life balance. With the holidays around the corner, balancing life with all the other demands is challenging. Our to-do lists grow longer and our stress levels increase. Leaving us with little time or energy. With all the focus on our "to-do" lists we become out of balance with our "doing selves" and our "being selves".
As one of my clients recently told me,"When the "doing" takes over, it feels like being in a tunnel and all the stuff we have to do has a frantic quality to it. The stuff makes me feel trapped in the tunnel with the frantic feeling of trying to get out."
In addition, when we're over focused on what we need to do, we forget about how we want to be. Most of us don't want to be stressed, frantic, or overwhelmed. We want to be relaxed, present, and calm.
In order to find balance during the holiday season, therefore, think about how you want to be. How do you want to be, for example, on Christmas day? Do you want to be calm, relaxed, excited, playful??
Create your TO BE list. Then, create your to-do list. What do you need to do to be?
Balance the doing with your being.
Remember, too, that it's not what we do that creates memories, it's how we are. How do you want to remember this holiday season? Be present in the moment. BE calm, relaxed and available.
As one of my clients recently told me,"When the "doing" takes over, it feels like being in a tunnel and all the stuff we have to do has a frantic quality to it. The stuff makes me feel trapped in the tunnel with the frantic feeling of trying to get out."
In addition, when we're over focused on what we need to do, we forget about how we want to be. Most of us don't want to be stressed, frantic, or overwhelmed. We want to be relaxed, present, and calm.
In order to find balance during the holiday season, therefore, think about how you want to be. How do you want to be, for example, on Christmas day? Do you want to be calm, relaxed, excited, playful??
Create your TO BE list. Then, create your to-do list. What do you need to do to be?
Balance the doing with your being.
Remember, too, that it's not what we do that creates memories, it's how we are. How do you want to remember this holiday season? Be present in the moment. BE calm, relaxed and available.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Words and Their Power
Words
DID is a word of ACHIEVEMENT
WON'T is a word of REBELLION
MIGHT is a word of MEDIOCRITY
CAN'T is a word of DEFEAT & FEAR
SHOULD is a word of DUTY
COULD is a word of POSSIBILITIES
WANT TO are words of CHOICE
TRY is a word of LITTLE FAITH
MAYBE is a word of PROCRASTINATION
WILL is a word of COURAGE
CAN is a word of POWER & SELF-DETERMINATION
DOING is a word of PROGRESS & FULFILLMENT
DONE is a word of SUCCESS.
What words do you use in your "self-talk?"
Do they empower you?
DID is a word of ACHIEVEMENT
WON'T is a word of REBELLION
MIGHT is a word of MEDIOCRITY
CAN'T is a word of DEFEAT & FEAR
SHOULD is a word of DUTY
COULD is a word of POSSIBILITIES
WANT TO are words of CHOICE
TRY is a word of LITTLE FAITH
MAYBE is a word of PROCRASTINATION
WILL is a word of COURAGE
CAN is a word of POWER & SELF-DETERMINATION
DOING is a word of PROGRESS & FULFILLMENT
DONE is a word of SUCCESS.
What words do you use in your "self-talk?"
Do they empower you?
Monday, October 20, 2008
The Sky is Falling vs. Abundance
These days I find myself struggling between the negativity of the economic news and the pessimistic outlook we are bombarded with and trying to stay positive and optimistic.
Part of me feels if I try to remain optimistic, I can begin to question myself; am I just trying to ignore the realities of the economic situation? Or is the core of me just optimistic and always looking for the lessons learned and the positive possibilities. It's easy to feel the worry, the burden, and the uncertainty that looms over everyone as I go out about my day. The jobs losses, foreclosures, and lost stock revenues are very real. Yet, as easy as it seems to get caught up in the "sky is falling" feeling, I also realize it's a perspective. If I choose to stand and believe the sky is falling, I'll take actions in line with that feeling or outlook. To imagine a world or country where we all believe the sky is falling is not a perspective that is helpful or healing.
I have noticed that when I look at the economy and perhaps the message it is sending, I see a real opportunity to take responsibility to take a conscious look at what is happening. It's an opportunity to live life differently. For me, it's perhaps a way to live with less, to appreciate more, to spend time home instead of out spending time away. It's an awesome opportunity to live more simply and to slow down. It shifts me from the perspective of not enough and doom and gloom to abundance and appreciation.
In all challenges lie opportunities.
Part of me feels if I try to remain optimistic, I can begin to question myself; am I just trying to ignore the realities of the economic situation? Or is the core of me just optimistic and always looking for the lessons learned and the positive possibilities. It's easy to feel the worry, the burden, and the uncertainty that looms over everyone as I go out about my day. The jobs losses, foreclosures, and lost stock revenues are very real. Yet, as easy as it seems to get caught up in the "sky is falling" feeling, I also realize it's a perspective. If I choose to stand and believe the sky is falling, I'll take actions in line with that feeling or outlook. To imagine a world or country where we all believe the sky is falling is not a perspective that is helpful or healing.
I have noticed that when I look at the economy and perhaps the message it is sending, I see a real opportunity to take responsibility to take a conscious look at what is happening. It's an opportunity to live life differently. For me, it's perhaps a way to live with less, to appreciate more, to spend time home instead of out spending time away. It's an awesome opportunity to live more simply and to slow down. It shifts me from the perspective of not enough and doom and gloom to abundance and appreciation.
In all challenges lie opportunities.
Monday, October 6, 2008
There's Enough
My good friend gave me a small desk calendar last Christmas that is filled with "The Law Of Attraction" quips and quotes. As I sat here at my desk removing the past days, I re-read each page. This one stuck out. It stuck out because as each client arrived today they seemed filled with uncertainty and fear due to the economic headline news.
The quote, "To think there is not enough is to look at the outside pictures and think that everything comes from the outside. When you do that, you will most surely see lack and limitation. You now know that nothing comes into existence from the outside, and that everything first comes from thinking and feeling it on the inside. Your mind is the creative power of all things."
As I read that today, I realized how often we feel the outside influences on our lives. I also thought about how, when we feel the outside pressures, the economy, the fear...it can cause us to shift our view of the world and ourselves into feeling the limitations and lack. We begin to imagine what life might be like if we lack money. Or how our life might be limited. Less freedoms, less driving, less travel, less opportunities...This perspective of lack and limitations, when looking from the inside out, is rather bleak and halting. This perspective is not open to choice either.
As the quote reminds us, our minds are the creative power of all things. Our minds perspective. We have choices in which we view things. Take this opportunity to take stock of all the abundance that is in your life.
Although the economic outlook right now is shifting, so may we. It's a great time to shift gears and be thankful for all we do have. It's also a great time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. It's also a great time to realize how we might need to limit ourselves..perhaps forcing us to be more conscious in our choices.
Live in the perspective that there is enough. Perhaps just changing what we think we need enough of. Enough Love? Enough Money? Enough time? Enough friends? Enough clothes? Enough cars? Enough gas? Enough food?
What do you have enough of?
The quote, "To think there is not enough is to look at the outside pictures and think that everything comes from the outside. When you do that, you will most surely see lack and limitation. You now know that nothing comes into existence from the outside, and that everything first comes from thinking and feeling it on the inside. Your mind is the creative power of all things."
As I read that today, I realized how often we feel the outside influences on our lives. I also thought about how, when we feel the outside pressures, the economy, the fear...it can cause us to shift our view of the world and ourselves into feeling the limitations and lack. We begin to imagine what life might be like if we lack money. Or how our life might be limited. Less freedoms, less driving, less travel, less opportunities...This perspective of lack and limitations, when looking from the inside out, is rather bleak and halting. This perspective is not open to choice either.
As the quote reminds us, our minds are the creative power of all things. Our minds perspective. We have choices in which we view things. Take this opportunity to take stock of all the abundance that is in your life.
Although the economic outlook right now is shifting, so may we. It's a great time to shift gears and be thankful for all we do have. It's also a great time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. It's also a great time to realize how we might need to limit ourselves..perhaps forcing us to be more conscious in our choices.
Live in the perspective that there is enough. Perhaps just changing what we think we need enough of. Enough Love? Enough Money? Enough time? Enough friends? Enough clothes? Enough cars? Enough gas? Enough food?
What do you have enough of?
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Get Into Action
Did you ever notice that when you are about to try something new, or take on a new challenge, or simply anticipating something that you are more nervous before the event then after it starts? When we try something new it challenges our mind and body. When we get into action, it releases our "feel good" hormones. Once we're in action it makes us feel better and the ambivalence we initially encountered decreases.
Clients often come to me because they know they want something, but just can't find the momentum to get started. Weight loss, new fitness routine, or taking the time to discover what is next for them in their lives...they want a change...but what? It's often easier to sit with the ambivalence, the what ifs and the worry. But, what does that really give you? What's the price of not changing? Of sitting and wishing it would just happen?
When I began training for my first triathlon, my head often filled up with ambivalent feelings, worry about what awful things could happen, whether I could actually do it or not, etc. To overcome it, I asked myself why I wanted to compete in a triathlon. What was my "WHY"? Why did I like triathlons? Why did I want to do them? When I discovered my answers to my "WHY" i realized that I loved the challenge of the triathlon, I enjoy working towards a goal, the sense of accomplishment, I enjoy the "wow" factor, and I enjoy the mental challenge most of all. Connecting to the "WHY" is what continues to motivate me.
Ask yourself, WHY you want what you want. Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to begin addressing your procrastination? Why do you want to discover what's next for you? Why do you want to run a marathon?
Why do you want to change? Find positive motivation. Engage your feelings, it creates an emotional charge that will power you through your procrastination and ambivalence. Your brain will naturally want to go towards pleasure...show yourself why you want it, and get into action to get it.
So put those ambivalent feelings to rest, get into action today. It's our own minds that create the "what ifs" before you start...once you begin, you realize it's not so bad afterall.
Clients often come to me because they know they want something, but just can't find the momentum to get started. Weight loss, new fitness routine, or taking the time to discover what is next for them in their lives...they want a change...but what? It's often easier to sit with the ambivalence, the what ifs and the worry. But, what does that really give you? What's the price of not changing? Of sitting and wishing it would just happen?
When I began training for my first triathlon, my head often filled up with ambivalent feelings, worry about what awful things could happen, whether I could actually do it or not, etc. To overcome it, I asked myself why I wanted to compete in a triathlon. What was my "WHY"? Why did I like triathlons? Why did I want to do them? When I discovered my answers to my "WHY" i realized that I loved the challenge of the triathlon, I enjoy working towards a goal, the sense of accomplishment, I enjoy the "wow" factor, and I enjoy the mental challenge most of all. Connecting to the "WHY" is what continues to motivate me.
Ask yourself, WHY you want what you want. Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to begin addressing your procrastination? Why do you want to discover what's next for you? Why do you want to run a marathon?
Why do you want to change? Find positive motivation. Engage your feelings, it creates an emotional charge that will power you through your procrastination and ambivalence. Your brain will naturally want to go towards pleasure...show yourself why you want it, and get into action to get it.
So put those ambivalent feelings to rest, get into action today. It's our own minds that create the "what ifs" before you start...once you begin, you realize it's not so bad afterall.
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